When the worship leader goes rogue...
Worship leaders are a rare breed. Not quite talented enough to make it as rock stars but with an inner desire to not hide their light behind a music stand but to let it shine, whether the congregation want to see it or not. This Sunday, throughout the world, worshipers will be holding their breath with trepidation as they watch the worship leader slowly shoulder their guitar, test out the microphone or turn the keyboard volume up to max. What are they going to do today?
You see it should be simple, a worship leader's role is to turn up, play some songs (with let’s be honest pretty easy tunes and chords) then go home and practice for next week. Job done. But sadly this isn’t the case. Instead they will likely go rogue and slip into some or all of the following pitfalls:
1) What was the point of the practice?
The rest of the band turn up a little blurry eyed, still tired from the 3 hour long practice that took place on Friday night. This was mainly because the worship leader wanted to do a clever little instrumental, before the 3rd bridge, and then link back to the chorus but in a raised key, before dropping down to the verse acapelo. It took 17 attempts to get it right.
Then to the rest of the band’s eternal frustration, when it comes to the Sunday service, they inexplicably decide to change it round. Meaning that while the keyboard and bass player went back to the bridge, the worship leader was strumming their way through an extra verse. There was no uplift but instead the worship leader started violently nodding their head, to get the rest of the band to drop out in the chorus. Meanwhile the congregation where all singing different parts of the song, though to be fair so where the singers.
2) What was the point of the order?
The laptop operations executive had checked in with the worship leader before the service to cross reference the structure of the songs. However by the time they are halfway through the second song, it has all gone to pot. The worship leader has decided to do a ‘mash up’, taking elements of four different songs and linking them together. This means that no-one in church really knows where they are, the keyboard player is desperately trying to pick up their music for ‘Worthy of it all’ which they had thrown to the floor in an attempt to successfully make the quick transition to ‘Holy Forever’.
Meanwhile in the congregation, those who struggle to see the screen and use the large words are in their own purgatory. Trying to flick from one page to another, without any seeming logic, no time to adjust and not starting at the beginning of the song. It looks like a scene from Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone as pieces of paper are accidently flung around the room in all directions. The owner’s desperate hope of landing on the right page diminishes by the second but instead they are left with several rather painful papercuts.
3) What was the point of a sound check?
The sound technician, well the young girl who is the only person in the building that actually understands the rather complex looking sound desk that the pastor bought after being talked into an upgrade at a recent Christian Conference, spent a good 15 mins at the start of the service balancing the sound. This isn’t easy when you have a guitar, bass, keyboard, cajon, trumpet, flute, three singers and a very enthusiastic tambourine player. It is even harder when the worship leader surreptitiously turns their instruments up as soon as the worship starts. Their aim, to make sure that anyone in the town who hasn’t got up and gone to church won’t be allowed to lie in.
Those on the front row are worrying about tinnitus whilst the health and safety office is more concerned that the slate on the roof might start falling off again. Despite this the worship leader seems to actually be getting louder not quieter, which would be fine but they have just started ‘I Speak Jesus’ and it is quite clear they are going to ‘Shout Jesus’ from the start – you hate to think what will happen by the time you hit the chorus.
4) What was the point of learning that new song last week?
As the service draws to a close you are looking forward to another go at the new song you learnt last week. Yes, it has a complicated verse, chorus, bridge, tag, jump, hopscotch, interlude, ending, structure. And yes, its range makes the Himalayas look a little on the small side but you have been listening to it during the week and it has certainly grown on you. So as thew worship band takes its place on the stage for the final song, you are looking forward to really praising God with it. “We have a new song today” the leader announces, “and I think you are going to really like it.”
A new song! Another new song! But you’ve only just learnt the last one, which seems to have been a one hit wonder. Why aren’t you doing that one again? Don’t they realise the time and effort you put into actually working out how to sing it. Instead the worship band strikes up another new song but don’t seem to notice the murderous looks from the congregation nor the fact no-one is joining in. It’s not that you don’t like new songs. All songs were new once but for 5 weeks running they have introduced a different one and as yet haven’t gone back to any of them. You do wonder if the worship band are secretly being sponsored by a music sales executive… As they come to the end, with a large fanfare, seemingly unaware that they are the only ones singing, the worship leader looks delighted at how it went, “don’t worry, we have another new one by the same writer next week,” they promise.
‘That’s if you are still worship leader next week’ you think to yourself and then immediately feel the need to confess your impure thoughts to God.
Of course none of these things may happen in your church… but let’s be honest, that is pretty unlikely. After all once you give someone the title Worship Leader, you are pretty much doomed… Thanks for reading.
J.B. Harper – Worship Leader
If you have enjoyed this blog, why not read some more of J.B. Harper’s thoughts on church life at www.jbharper.com/blog.
